REFLECTING ON WHAT REAL SUCCESS IS

Someone I hold very dear recently wrote to me about her refusal to go by the cultural standard in America where one must pretend always to be successful, that one's life and work are in great shape and failure nowhere in sight.

Failure is intrinsic to human life and we tend to forget that in a competitive society.

My friend's statement prompted me to question my own ideas of what success is. To what standards do I hold myself? Who selected them? What does it mean to succeed in life? Are the values of our culture, my values? What do I consider success to be?

As a writer, I've long grown accustomed to rejections from journals. It's part of the writing process which writers have to learn to take in stride. I've developed a pretty good sense of equanimity about that by now, taking into consideration a journal's timing, themes, taste, preferences, how many editors are reviewing my work. There are multiple factors to consider and sometimes it seems like a literary acceptance is just luck of the draw. A writing acceptance is always thrilling, well earned usually, but transient as the day.

Writing well matters to me, is an important part of my life's center, but not its whole. Even more important to me is the attitude with which I view the world and drives my personal ideas about ambition and success.

The idea of success and having standards seems interwoven. In these times, we must be the heroes of our own lives, which means setting standards to abide by--in our work, and most importantly, in how we treat and relate to one another and ourselves, which always reflects outward.

From this standpoint, having a lot of everything does not necessarily mean a lot or make us successful. Which seems obvious, but apparently isn't to a lot of people. Being a billionaire does not necessarily make you a great or even fine human being. What does having all the money in the world matter if all you care about is using it to feed your own pleasures and ego? You don't take accolades with you when you die, or a Nobel Peace Prize, or a mansion, or a beautiful body. And definitely not money. The only collateral worth anything when you die is the imprint of how you treated others while you lived. 

All other attributes aside, including having money, how we treated others will more than likely be the main way we are remembered.

In these times, being a good human being seems revolutionary, going against the tide. There is so much negativity and toxicity in the world feeding nature and its beings. We need more people making the effort to be kind and decent, making that a priority, as it has a domino effect.

Although I'm not a Catholic, I grew up as one and still remember St. Francis's beautiful Prayer for Peace whose final section reminds people "for it is in giving that we receive." 

https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/resource/55030/peace-prayer-of-st-francis-of-assisi



This photo is from May 25, 1986, the day millions of strangers across America reached out to one another by holding hands from New York to California, across cities, towns and plains. More than 6.6 million people took part in this, making a living chain, one hand at a time. We can do it again, metaphorically, if not actually. 

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